Monday, June 09, 2008

No Secrets

Shameless and her puppies are doing well. Past the 24 hour mark now and all are heavier than their birth weight. I have a brindle boy, a brindle girl, two brindle particoloured girls and two particoloured girls that may be gold parti's or brindle. Time will tell.

I did 100 laps in the pool today. I feel fine but my voice keeps going hoarse so I wonder if I am coming down with a cold. My colds normally start in the throat.

The eating is going okay. Am not totally comfortable with it yet. I think it will take a while to sort out. I was hungry last night and when i worked it out realised I had eaten half the cals I need! I also did not eat enough protein. this is what i shall have to watch-the natural tendency for me to under eat. Yes considering how fat I was, that sounds odd but it isn't when you understand the full picture and I am not ready to go into that yet. However, I am fairly sure that adding these low GI carb foods is going to be okay for me.

'We have no secrets,
we tell each other everything' wrote Carly Simon and as she discovered this is not good in a love relationship or even a friendship. That is the point of the song.

However, secrets are not healthy and it is preferable to not have any. I have no secrets. None at all. Someone knows everything there is to know about me. EVERYTHING. How I feel, how I think, what was done to me, what I did. That someone is not one person. No. Not at all. I have no secrets but no one person knows all of my stuff. That is important. Certainly John does not know everything. Some of it would hurt him. I have never wanted him to know the details of the sexual abuse.

The point to this is that secrets are not healthy at all.

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