Tuesday, November 22, 2005

In Gere(Richard that is)

Above is a raglan sweater I made. The yarn is 50% merino, 25% Cashmere and 25% silk. 4ply weight.

Well, dear people, I would recommend you all go out and buy yourself a SAD light and then you'd have no excuse to bitch and moan and feel miserable. Yes, friends, it WORKS! People who know me have said I look well, not pale anymore(no it doesn't tan-wouldn't have that -skin cancer
you know- also don't want my skin to age any faster that it is - you should see what happens around my eyes when i smile-mmm.maybe I ought to switch off this light after all). John said it definately works. How do you know, I asked? Before you started using it, he replied, you were a miserable ****. What could I do but laugh and inwardly plan my revenge?

The world is full of wankers who want puppies. Honestly, they can't even make an inteliigent enquiry, why do they think they could raise a puppy? 'Ow much are ya Poodles?' one silly cow asked. 'I don't have Poodles' I reply. 'what 'ave you got and ow much?' 'I can't help you.' I said, 'and thank you for calling.' Maybe I am just getting old but I resisted saying 'fuck off'.

Oh and the spam one gets now(are you old enough to remember spam sandwaiches. makes me retch just recalling them). I get these ones from Princess IThink Youra Gulliblewanker and i am the widow of the late Prince Youra Tosser and I need your help to get millions of pounds from a Swiss Bank Account and I will make sure your receive 20% of said millions for helping me do this. So kind of them to offer, I think. NOT! They must think I have the IQ of a gnat. Come to think of it, they obvioulsy are retarded if they think this works.

Then there are those that offer me penile enlargement. What i want to know is this: who's been talking?

Oh and we have a little fun over on UKH. Oh yes, troll season is upon us. This particular one names herself Chrissie (I'll withold the surname) and it turns out the name belongs to a woman who authors knitting books. Mmmm...unique marketing skills-join a list and insult your potential customers. Now either this Chrissie person was the real one and if so she should go and seek help. Or she was a troll using a psuedonym knowing it was kntting related-in which case he/she ought to seek help.

Trouble is Trolling works because so many people seem to love getting irate and upset about emails. Like I used to. yes, I used to when I was green and new to this PC and net lark. Gosh, I got so upset sometimes that if my PC gave me access to the BUTTON, none of us would be sitting here now. Since then, I have calmed down quite a bit, had therapy, and now just stay drunk. Quicker and easier than trying not to get upset. Okay, so you are thinking 'no wonder his memory is crap'...well you may be right but hey this is my life and if I want to drink all day and night it's my business so push off. Anyway, back to the Trolling. I guess it's what some people do when they can't cope with being drunk all the time...like living in the real wordl...only for those who can't cope with drink or drugs...

Sorry about that last paragraph, just kidding. Me drunk? No never. Those were the days. Nope, I just get thru my days on fresh water and food. I've become really virtuous. No vices. Not many anyway. I still smoke, very little. But that is it. Don't even **** anymore. Too knackered.

Richard Gere. Now hasn't he grown in appeal? I think so anyway. Never thought much of him till he started going grey. Just saw him with Ms Sarandon in Shall We Dance?. Lovely film. VERY romantic. Aaah, there I was engrossed in this film, imagining him sweeping me off my walking sticks and carrying me ..well a couple of feet till his back gave out....still one can dream. It got me thinking that just my luck, now I am crippled, that he or Mr Jackman would come a knocking and I would just have to say no, sorry,.....

This reminds that in July it is our 25th anniversary. John and I that is. My original thought was I'd go out with him till someone rich and famous came and swept me away...well that was almost 25 years ago and i am still waiting...tho of course it is too late now....whilst waiting I discovered what love really is and that my heart had been captured and now doesn't want anything to change...he showed me what life was meant to be.

Friday, November 11, 2005

SAD and Forgetful

This is Solo, now 8 weeks and 3 days old. He may be leaving home very soon.
Knitting-I am knitting a wasitcoat in a brown oiled wool I bought in Heidelberg. I am using 4mm needles and garter stitch. Using Addi Turbo Circulars and knitting it all in one piece, till I get to the arm holes. Obivoulsy, as this is a waistcoat, it is not joined and knit in the round!

On the machine, I have almost completed a navy blue ragaln, using 50% Merino, 25% cashmere, 25% silk yarn. 2/15's weight, used double knit on the Brother 940. I have used the garter carriage for the ribbing as I prefer the way the gc does the ribbing.

I forked out a fair bit of dosh for a SAD light. No the light is not sad, nor crap design. It is a light which simulates daylight so that one's pineal gland does what it would do if it were sunny - ie makes one feel alive again. At least that is what it is supposed to do. Independent research says it does. It gives out light at 10,000lux(very bright) and one sits in front of it so that the light gets to one's eyes and thus to one's pineal gland. This ought to prevent one from becoming a vegetable in winter which I am apt to do. My gp suggested I was a SAD sufferer and I must admit to thinking it was claptrap. However, my medical history does indeed show that over the last 30 years all my serious health issues, including hospitalizations, have occurred in winter and my hypo phases have occurred in the spring/summer. Last year was especially bad. Only my dogs kept me going. I got so bad I could barely move and my stutter came back. However, I still didn't think winter and lack of light had anything to do with it. Not so sure now. Hence the light. Oh, I could have moved to live within 30deg of the equator-the only known cure - but.......

Scans suggest I may be inundated with about 15 pups! Now that is 60 little boooties to knit! I shall be very busy in about 10 days time right thru to about March. Maybe I WILL move to the Equator ...or John will.

Simply Knitting arrived thru my letter box. This time the free gift was really useful for me - 2006 diary. My memory is appalling and I need to write things down - like my name or the dogs'- or I forget. Trouble is I also forget where I put my diary or I forget to read it. I asked John if he would put up an idiot baord next the fridge so I could write things up on it or rather stick post it notes on it for reminders. He just looked at me with that look on his face, as if to say 'poor thing' . At least that is my interpretation. It probaly means '' why the f**k am I still here?'. So he took me out to the kitchen and showed me the fridge. On the wall next to it is an idiot board and it has been there for almost 7 years....
I have been known to go out the house and get into my car still in my night shirt....or I have stood at my house front door pressing the button on my car key and wondering why the friggin door won't open!

I do a fair amount of public speaking. I always forget what I am talking about . People think it is part of my method. It isn't. I literally forget what I am talking about. And very frequently, well all the time really, I start to talk about one thing and just take a diversion onto something else and confuse myself. Again, it is thought to be part of my method and I get very good feedback and people say they get much out of my talks. Glad they do. I daren't ask them what they get tho cos I haven't a clue!